Tag Archive: Animals


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10 Things Cats Are Thinking About

1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.

2. Is there something I’m not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?

3. Why doesn’t the government do something about dogs?

4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives?

5. Hmmm … If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can’t we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us?

6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.

7. Hey — no kidding, I’m sure that’s the can opener.

8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn’t given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?

9. If there’s a God, how can God allow neutering?

10. If that really was the can opener, I’ll play finicky just to let THEM know who’s boss!

 

16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully
clear gifreads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.

15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of
clear gifPoland.
13. When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of
clear gif the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing
clear gif with yarn.
12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets,
clear gif and nine suicide bombs.
11. What you thought was “heat” is actually a four-legged goose
clear gif step.
10. Well, “somebody” subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
 9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals “tattoo”
clear gif to be blueprint of the UN Building.
 8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
 7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out “Drop the car keys
clear gifand leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head.”
 6. Then — dead mice in the kitchen. Now — dead third world
clear gifdictators in the basement.
 5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some
clear gifkind of “land mine” technology.
 4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
 3. Has recently been acting somewhat… aloof.
 2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes
clear gifup for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination…

 1. Somehow, you’re now subscribed to “Feline of Fortune” magazine.

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